I have so much to blog about I don’t know where to start. I’ve become a total junkie for missingtoof.com. I know, it’s not the kind of music I’ve ever shown myself to be into and I have to confess I don’t really understand their ethos. Really, the more I read it, the more I realize that I’m simply not part of the hardcore dance remixing scene. At best I am an outsider, a spectator, a mere anthropologist, observing the native inhabitants with equal parts condescension and misguided wonderment, endlessly lamenting the loss of some mythical, “simpler time,” yet possessing no earnest desire to return to it. I bring disease.

This particular tribe seems to consist largely of people who fetishize very aggressively retooled versions of unexceptional techno-pop and indie-pop singles. It’s a wonder to me how varied the source material is: a remix of Kris Kross’ classic “Jump” which, to borrow some language from my brethren over at missingtoof (henceforth referred to as MT), “knocked out my dentals.” Said remix is available here.

The site is essentially just a blog. Every post consists of one or two songs that have been remixed between one and four times each by a different person/group. The bloggers provide meaningful insight into what we should expect from each track (Will it be “funky?” Will it be “heated?” Don’t tell me it won’t be.) and always seem to know a great deal about the people who authored the “joint” being hawked.

Easily the best thing about this blog is its dubious legality. Oftentimes tracks are referred to explicitly as bootlegs, other times they are mysteriously pulled because of publisher complaints, other times still original versions of the songs being remixed will be furnished (for the purpose of comparison) in all their high bit-rate glory. I’m telling you: this site is quite a masterpiece.

But RK, how do I make this part of my life? So here’s how my missingtoof experience works for me. Every morning I spend like four minutes downloading hundreds of crusty remixes all of which are rumored to be totally “slammin’”/”kickin’”/”dope” into a folder on my desktop. Then I’ll blast them one after another through my tiny ipod earphones until eventually something grabs my attention (if it doesn’t happen in the first forty minutes, put the headphones down, get some work done, and try again an hour or two later), then I’ll put it into a special folder labelled “makes the cut.” Next, I’ll shove these “Makes the cut” tracks onto my iPod in a playlist. Then, to make matters more awesome, I’ve got a “Special playlist” that randomly selects from the missingtoof tracks and provides me with two hours of aggressively remixed techno glory. Man…this is life.

Okay, that’s it for now.

All the best and keeping reading the good stuff,
RK Thornwell